War on Myself: Part 1

I would like to be confident in myself, like Audrey Hepburn was!

I’m about to go find a park to park myself in and read some life-giving words from the Bible! God is so good- the trials in our lives only serve to bring Him glory. Right now, I am struggling with low self-esteem, something I never thought I would deal with. Low self esteem is for ‘all the other women out there’. Not me. Right? Noooooooooope.
I, too, struggle with belittling myself, berating myself, and altogether waging war on myself just to find some sort of self worth. Sadly, the one thought in my mind that stands out is this: ‘If I were just 10 (10!?) pounds lighter, and my abs showed, and my thighs didn’t touch, and my arms weren’t flabby…THEN I would be able to love myself for who God made me to be.’

OUCH. I know I hurt my Lord when I say these things, and even worse- believe these things. I found myself on my bedroom floor several times since I got back to San Diego from college, just crying out to God- asking him to free me from the ugly mind trap of low self-worth that I’m in.He’s working on me, that’s for certain! Pray for me as I find out what it means to love the very body that God gave me for what it is. It’s exhausting to try to change ALL THE TIME. So pray for me!